


The Problem with Incarnation

by thaaats piss buddy (Resident_of_Fiction)



Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Omorashi, Watersports, Wetting, don't think about it too much this is piss porn, this is like an au of zero where everyone lives and also all the servants get physical bodies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22562482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resident_of_Fiction/pseuds/thaaats%20piss%20buddy
Summary: Diarmuid is on a date with Artoria, but having just gotten a physical body again he overestimates his holding capacity.
Relationships: Diarmuid Ua Duibhne | Lancer/Artoria Pendragon | Saber
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	The Problem with Incarnation

The date was going well, exceptionally well. He and Artoria had gone to lunch, a movie, and were now getting coffee at a cafe. An empty cup sat in front of each of them.

“The modern world has much to admire,” said Artoria, glancing around the room. “The Grail gave me some knowledge, yet there is still much to learn firsthand. The movie was very realistic. I loved the scenes with the ocean in particular.” 

Diarmuid’s fingers gripped tighter on his cup handle. “Yes, it was good,” he said. The Grail giving them all physical bodies was truly a gift. It was not a wish he had had, but now that he had one he admired the possibilities. Being able to sit here on a relaxing date with the person he most respected was proof of that. 

There were a few drawbacks. Requiring food and sleep again was rather a pain; his stomach growled for the first time in front of Kayneth, which was embarrassing for both of them. But the most annoying (and immediate) concern of a full incarnation, however, was regaining the need to relieve himself. It wasn’t something he’d ever thought much about in his original life, but after living as a Servant not needing it, it was hard to go back. Which then led to him not not thinking things through and overestimating his capacity. 

As a Servant there would have been no problem with having a drink and a refill with lunch, a soda during the movie, and a coffee just now. It wouldn’t have mattered that he stayed with their coats in the theater seats as Artoria left for the bathroom herself, or that the bathroom at this cafe was out of order now. As Lancer his foot wouldn’t be tapping mindlessly and he wouldn’t grimace at Artoria’s mention of an ocean.

“Shall we call it a day?” Artoria said, looking at the clock on the wall. “Though I suppose it is dinnertime, if you’re interested.” 

“I’d be honored, if you’d have me,” he said with a smile. His urge was something easy to fix, but there was no telling if Kayneth would allow him to come next time, so Diarmuid was determined to spend as much time with Artoria today as possible.

They stood up, Diarmuid biting his lip as he did so from the weight of gravity on his bladder, and put on their coats. As they left Diarmuid glared at his empty cup, like it was somehow its fault for making him end up in this situation. 

The cafe door jingled behind them as they left. Artoria looked left and right, then up at him. “Where shall we go?” she asked. Both the place they went to for lunch and this cafe Artoria had previously come to with Irisviel.

 _Anywhere with a bathroom._ “I’m not familiar with the restaurants here,” he said. “I suppose just choosing one we walk past would be enough?” 

Artoria nodded. “That works.”

They walked a few blocks to the west. Diarmuid knew he was being bombarded with the stares of lovestruck women he passed, but he was used to it. Maybe next time he would try Artoria’s suggestion of simply putting a bandaid over his beauty mark. Even if it didn’t work it was worth a shot. Besides, Artoria wasn’t deterred by the stares either, and that was what really mattered.

Eventually they spotted an Italian restaurant that seemed suitable, so they decided to go in. Diarmuid breathed a light sigh of relief. The state of his bladder had gotten even worse during the walk, and he was ready to be free of this uncomfortable feeling.

* * *

He cursed his E rank luck. He hoped whatever god assigned it to him fell into the pits of hell and remembered the rage of Diarmuid.

The bathroom was out of order at this place too. Diarmuid leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. His legs were crossed and his hands were curled tightly into fists on his lap. He could do this. It was just dinner. No more than an hour. He could wait an hour. Probably. He tried not to think about how the coffee from the cafe probably hadn’t even reached his bladder yet. 

Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to compose himself as their server came over.

“Welcome,” the man said with a smile as he bowed. “Would you like any drinks?”

Luckily Artoria spoke up first as Diarmuid paled at the thought of drinking anything else. “I’ll have a glass of this, thank you,” she said, pointing to some Italian wine on her menu.

Nodding and writing it down, the server turned to Diarmuid next. “And you, sir?”

“Just… water for me, thanks,” he answered, quickly moving his eyes back to his lap. 

The server left and Diarmuid tried to pick out a dish, but right now all he could focus on was the ache of his bladder. He looked across the table and smiled at Artoria’s face, her mouth practically watering over all the different options. Yes, this was worth it.

The waiter came back and to Diarmuid’s great dismay the drinks were not pre-poured. Setting two empty glasses down, he took the bottle of wine and began to pour it in Artoria’s glass.

Diarmuid shivered at the sound of the splashing, his whole body tensing up and his knuckles turning white. He sensed Artoria’s worried glance in his direction but he ignored it.

His glass of water (which he knew for a fact he wasn’t going to drink) was poured next, and Diarmuid tried to focus on literally any other sound from the restaurant but to no avail. 

The drinks were in front of them now, and the server took their order. Artoria ordered about a half dozen things, while Diarmuid picked something random. He wished he could have picked something he wanted, but at this point he didn’t care about what he ate. If only “not pissing himself” was on the menu.

Once the waiter was gone, Artoria took a sip of her wine before giving another concerned glance his direction. “Are you quite well, Lancer?” she asked. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Sorry for worrying you,” he said, though with his body hunched over like this it wasn’t very convincing.

“You seem a bit flushed. Remember we can succumb to ailments again, so if you aren’t feeling well perhaps we should leave. I know this body is new, but you need to take care of yourself.”

 _I would have taken care of the problem a long time ago if I could._ “Thank you, Saber,” he said, “but I’m not feverish. My… stomach hurts a little is all.”

Artoria seemed more worried now. “Do you think it was something you ate earlier? You shouldn’t eat anything else in that case.” She looked at his glass. “Though you should have some water.”

“No!” he said, then blushed at his sudden loudness. “It’s more of a muscle cramp. I’m alright.”

Frowning, Artoria nodded. “Alright, if you say so I shall believe you.”

The rest of dinner wore on. Their food arrived, but Diarmuid took only a few bites. His bladder pulsed with each tiny movement he made. His legs were locked tightly in a pretzel and he was thankful for the tablecloth hiding them from Artoria’s sight. He hadn’t had to go this bad in literally more than a millenium. As he watched his date down her third plate of food, he wished he could admire the cuteness of it, and not fantasize about leaving the restaurant as soon as possible and finding a bathroom in a store nearby. 

The waiter came back to take all of Artoria’s plates and his mostly untouched one away. “Would you like any dessert?” he asked.

“No, thank you,” Diarmuid answered, before Artoria could say otherwise. It was rude. He knew that, but he couldn’t stay here a minute longer than he had to. Partially to make up for that and partially because he knew they’d compete to pay otherwise, Diarmuid had his cash out as soon as the bill was brought to the table.

Once that was done he shot up to leave, then instantly doubled over and gripped the table. Fuck. Fuck. He was truly desperate. He needed to find a bathroom right now or else.

Artoria ran to his side of the table and supported his back as he stood back up. This was embarrassing, but having her think he was in pain was better than her knowing what the true cause was. He hoped he could keep himself from squirming so much so he could keep it that way. 

Walking down the steps exiting the restaurant was torture. He’d experienced far more severe pain in his original life, but right now this seemed more unbearable. 

“Let’s get a taxi,” Artoria said, still concerned. “We should get you back home.” 

“ _Ah!_ Ah, let’s… go to another store first,” Diarmuid managed to say. “I’m okay, really.” He then realized that if he went into a bathroom in this state and came out fine she’d know what his problem was anyway, but he’d just have to accept that. It was better than wetting himself.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said. “It’s clear that you’re—”

A huge wave of urgency, bigger than any of the ones before, washed over Diarmuid like a tsunami of training weights. “Shit!” he cried as he wrapped his legs tightly together. He grabbed his dick through his pants to stop the flow so close to leaking out. But he couldn’t stop a tiny spurt from soaking the front of his underwear. Thankfully this street was mostly empty, save for a few people. It was humiliating enough for Artoria to see.

Realization came to Artoria’s face and she gave a sympathetic smile. “You could have told me if that was your real problem,” she said. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about. You are a knight as well, so you know that it is simply another part of the body that needs to be taken care of, the same as eating or sleeping. Surely you remember this from your original life?”

“It’s… different now,” he said, managing to prevent himself from leaking more.

“How is it…? Well, nevermind,” she said. “If you are in pain it’s better not to hurt yourself. You will damage your bladder at this rate.” She looked around and spotted an alley a mere twenty feet away. “There.”

He blushed again and shook his head. “No. I would never! A knight should never do such a vulgar thing in front of a lady! Especially one he…” 

Artoria frowned. “I am a knight as much as you, and I was surrounded by people in my life who thought I was a man. I’m used to such things. There were no toilets when you were alive. You’re saying you’ve never relieved yourself outside in front of others when necessary?” 

“Of course I have. It was no big deal with the knights of Fianna. The men would piss together all the time. But with Gráinne I would always go excuse myself behind a tree somewhere. To do it in front of someone I...! Someone I love is too embarrassing!” 

Diarmuid’s eyes widened at the realization of what he’d just said, and Artoria’s own face was quickly becoming as red as his.

He cursed his luck again then looked back towards the alley. He knew it was his only option if he didn’t want to wet himself right here. “Fine,” he said. 

They began to walk towards the alley, Diarmuid making very small steps in effort to prevent any more leaks. Yet still another one broke through his sphincter and dampened his pants this time. 

“We’re almost there. You can make it,” Artoria said, her tone positive despite her persistent blush. 

“I’m not sure I can.” He closed his eyes as he trudged forward, both hands now holding his dick and getting wetter by the second. 

And then, a woman walking up behind them tripped and fell forward onto him, grabbing his arm for support. “I’m so sorry!” she said, then looked up at his face. Her eyes glazed over and she blushed, not only not letting go of him but holding on tighter. “Wow…” 

“Please… let me go…”

She ignored him, and tugged on his arm more. “It’s just like a fairy tale. Tripping and falling onto a handsome stranger…”

“Please…” he begged. His leaks were getting longer. He was on the very edge before his body ripped control out from under him. He couldn’t let go of himself to push her away without giving it up. He was so close, he could burst at any moment.

“Excuse me,” Artoria said, curt but not cruel. She pulled the woman away herself and pushed her off in another direction to go on her way. “There,” she said as the woman left. "Come on, we’re so close now.”

But it was too late. Diarmuid reached the alley just as his bladder could take more abuse and freed its contents of its own will. His warm piss shot from his dick like a hose, soaking the front of his pants completely and running in a river down his legs.

“Lancer...”

His hands, dripping with his own piss, fell to his sides as he hung his head in shame. His stream wasn’t slowing any time soon, the sound of it dripping onto the concrete below echoed in his cherry-red ears. The relief of letting go felt incredible, yet he couldn’t relish it in the slightest.

Artoria stood awkwardly next to him, looking away in what could be assumed was her attempt to give him some privacy, not that it mattered at this point.

This was the longest minute of his life. It must have been the most he’d ever pissed too. By the time his stream finally slowed a large puddle had formed at his feet. When at last the sound of it completely stopped, Artoria turned around and opened her mouth to say something when he interrupted her.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ll go.” He turned to leave, keeping his head down and wishing he could still turn into spirit form. 

“Diarmuid.”

He hesitated at his true name.

Artoria took his hand in hers. “It’s okay,” she said. “It’s not a big deal for a knight.”

“During battle, no. These things happen during a fight, when you’re busy trying not to die. You have more important things to worry about. It can’t be helped. But pissing myself simply because I couldn't hold it any longer is…” _Pathetic._ “It hasn’t happened to me since I was a child.” His voice cracked on the last sentence.

“It’s not your fault. I don’t think less of you because of this. Getting used to a physical body again is difficult. And I… I understand why saying something about it was embarrassing. If we’re using your terms, I suppose I’d have a hard time going in front of you as well.”

His eyes shot up from the ground where he was staring and back to her. “You…?”

Artoria was blushing still and smiling warmly, the kindness in her eyes enveloping him. He felt what it must have been like to be at the receiving end of his curse.

She laughed. “I believe in that case we can call this date a success. I suppose we should go home so you can get cleaned up.”

“Right…” Diarmuid said. His heart sank again. He could only imagine what Kayneth was going to say if he came back like this. Although his pants were dark, there was no hiding the pattern of the wetness quickly growing cold and sticking to his skin, or the smell for that matter.

“Why don’t you come back to my place? I’m sure Irisviel won’t mind.”

It was definitely the best option. Kayneth certainly wouldn’t mind being free of him for a night, as long as he didn’t say exactly where he was staying. And even if he did get mad it would probably be less so than if Diarmuid came home with soaked pants. Thinking about how at this point Kayneth was more like his troublesome parent than his Master, Diarmuid said, “Thank you, Saber… Artoria, I accept.”

The pair left the alley, Diarmuid still keeping his head down. Even those not affected by his curse had a reason to stare at him now. Although, he guessed there was some comfort in the fact those who were affected would probably still be staring at his face.

But even if they did stare, even if they did judge the grown man who wet his pants, as long as he had this person beside him he didn’t care.


End file.
